Self love is not something many of us tend to be comfortable with. In my teens I viewed self love as someone who thought they were better than me and figured it was a negative trait.

I didn’t have very good communication skills and this hindered my progress with friends, co-workers and romantic relationships for the next ten years. If I had known myself better, I would have recognised the strengths that could have helped me form stronger relationships with others.

Self love is the ability to value yourself as a person and has the potential to strengthen all your relationships. Healthy self-esteem encourages resiliency in life and we naturally become more hopeful.

Avoidance of self love tends to create drama waves throughout all our relationships and can show others that you don’t know yourself well. This comes from being taught to look outside of the self and find approval from others.

However, when you can look within and recognise your strengths, your values and realise what you want in life, you can be clear with others in your intentions and know your direction in life.

Here are some ways that you can help to build a healthier relationship with yourself.
  1. Start your day with gratitude and positive thoughts. Instead of reaching for your mobile to check the weather or endlessly scroll through social media, spend the time on yourself. Mentally list a few things that make you grateful to be alive. Tell yourself something positive.Set your intentions for the day by deciding what you would like to achieve.
    List your positive qualities.

    Think about what you need to do for yourself to ensure your day goes well.

  2. Let go of your avoidance behaviors. What do you do when you’re feeling emotionally overloaded? Shop? over eat? Go online? Instead of avoiding yourself, bring your attention inward to the body.Just breathe and notice how your body feels and what sensations you may be experiencing.   Raise your awareness of where in the body you feel something and breathe deeply into it.  Often this can be enough to send a calm signal to the brain and the body will respond positively.

    Think about ways you could serve your body better, like eating well, exercise or movement or just put some of your favourite tunes on to start the day.

  3. Meditate. Think of meditation as spending quality time with yourself. Begin with just a few minutes and extend the time as you feel more comfortable. You’ll learn how your mind works by meditating and it will help slow you down.
  4. Spend time on your personal development. What do you feel the need to learn?
    Social skills?
    Relaxation skills?
    Spiritual development?
    You spend so much time doing things for your boss, home, and family. Take a break and spend some time dealing with your own needs.
  5. Forgive yourself. You’ve made a few mistakes and missed out on a few sure-fire opportunities. We’re meant to make mistakes so that we can learn and grow. When we’re too hard on ourselves, we become stuck in loops that tend to be repetitive and unproductive. It’s time to let go of your past and forge ahead.

Remember, you are a unique individual and there is nobody like you on earth. We all have special gifts and qualities to share. The better you know yourself, the easier it is to share yourself with others in a healthy, respectful way.

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