I have never been keen on following celebrities. I had my favourites that I admired for their acting ability as well as those who volunteered to help those less fortunate than themselves. When the Will Smith incident came about, I initially wasn’t interested in giving it too much energy. However, weeks later after a discussion about it, I watched the video of that night. It left me with an uneasy feeling about the level of aggression that was shown in regard to the comment made.
As the fallout and repercussion came about in the following weeks, I realised how similar Will Smith’s actions can be in comparison to those of us that just go about our daily lives. We too experience aggression on the roads, in our shops and at home and even with our co-workers. You might be the one who can be aggressive or perhaps you find yourself the passive individual who is on the receiving end of aggression.
Either way, impulsive aggression should not be accepted by anyone. Will Smith has had to pay a high price for his reaction in that instance. But at some point, we may all have stepped way over the mark when it comes to intense emotional situations.
It’s so important to recognise that we have not had much assistance in learning to manage our emotions. Belief patterns and the modelling of those peers in our formative years can make it especially difficult to know how to handle situations that trigger strong emotional reactions.
Often, we can look back on moments of intense reactions and realise that we wasted a lot of energy in a situation that with some time, wasn’t as bad as we thought. We can manage our emotions by learning to experience and express ourselves in more positive ways and build our emotional regulation skills.
Awareness is the key here and looking at how your strong emotions may affect those around you can be beneficial. If you regularly experience trouble with friendships, co-workers, you may need to take stock of exactly how this is affecting your connections.
Rather than be emotionally avoidant, the aim is to find some control over strong emotions. It can be helpful to think of it like a dial you turn up or down depending on the situation. Begin by becoming aware of what situation triggers a strong reaction and then ask yourself some questions.
What am I feeling right now?
What happened to make me feel this way?
Is there a better way of coping with this experience?
By exploring the deeper underlying feelings, we give our brain a chance to reframe by considering alternative options that make more sense of situations.
It can also be important to recognise that you need to accept your emotions in any given moment. Sure, someone else may think its no big deal but it is to you. Rather than trying to invalidate how you feel, accept it. We then increase our comfort around these emotions whilst we try to find healthy ways to work our way through it.
When we practise acceptance, we allow our brains to go into a solution focused state. For example, if you are always running late for work, acceptance of the frustration can allow the brain to come up with a solution such as setting your clock earlier or pre-preparing the days items.
Meditation, relaxation, deep breathing, and journaling are also all useful tools to help us to create a calmer space within. It’s important to find the one thing that resonates best with you, however, just raising your awareness of strong emotions we all experience will go a long way to helping find a solution.